Round! Ever Thought About Round?

My latest mad musing is that the origin of everything is round!

Or at least cyclical, cylindrical or circular! I mean, what are we if we are not molecules? Those marvellous things composed of atoms, each of which has a nucleus, which is usually described as round to oval with a smooth, thin nuclear membrane,– Now come on, have you ever seen a square atom?


Even Dr Who agrees with me and he’s the cleverest man in the universe –


Did you get that? “Time, it’s not what people think it is ……… it’s a big ball of wibbly wobbly, timey wimey, stuff. Now what is a ball if it’s not round? And do we not watch things around the clock?

And speaking of the clock have you noticed how quickly time passes, and comes around again? Take this morning for example. Dave double decks or whomever, is playing that little round CD of that record I first heard 30 years ago and seems to be back in the charts (or is it the Hit Parade?) again – (see even music is cyclical).

Now I must confess, I am not really very technical, ask Nerm II! And to demonstrate this I can give you the example that I am not sure how to operate my alarm clock, and despite moaning in my mad Mizzie way, about Nermy II’s alarm clock with its 7 minute cycle, earlier in this blog, we do rely on it to get us up in the mornings. However, because I had trouble operating my old clock, he’s recently brought me a new alarm clock to encourage me to be more independent and to moan at him less about his alarm clock every morning.

This is a good thing!

Now this clock has less buttons than my old one, and they are clearly marked. On, Off, Snooze, etc. But the off button doesn’t seem to work. The ritual of the clock goes a bit like this, the thing begins to splurge out it’s chords of “They tried to make me go to rehab but I said 'noh, noh, noh” or whatever, I perch on one elbow and squint to try and see which is the off button, prod what I believe to be the off button with my (round) finger and on she goes “I didn't get a lot in class, But I know it don't come in a shot glass…..” and I am wondering exactly why I am so blind these days not being able to see a flying fig without my specs, so I fumble around on the bedside table top to locate the darn things and slide them on to my nose and press again the off button but once more she continues “I don't ever wanna drink again, I just ooh, I just need a friend, I'm not gonna spend ten weeks, have everyone think I'm on the mend” and I am beginning to think Amy has a point and maybe, if I hadn’t had that extra glass of wine last night I might be able to see what I was doing a bit better and stop my bloody clock from howling at me and so eventually give up pressing the button that says off and hit the top of the clock with its half a dozen buttons, randomly and it shuts up – Hoorah!

Now this technique has been working perfectly well for a month. So when it went off this morning and I realise Nerm II is still snoring next to me, I leap out of bed telling him he’s a fool and it’s nearly eight o clock and he’s over slept – I trample over the amassed clutter in the P’s room to pull back her covers chuntering, your father has slept through the bloody clock again, we’re late! To hear him complaining, that his clock is an hour slow. “Idiot” I spit at him – “you are forever messing with stuff and mucking it up” and I climb in to my discarded clothes from the wee hours and make my way down stairs with him following me buttoning his shirt. As we hit the kitchen he looks at me with sheer disbelief, having just done a double take at the 24 hour clock which is blinking redly at him – “It’s a quarter past, f’kin seven,” he says incredulously! “You aren’t late you silly moo, you are an hour early.”

And so it would appear that whilst randomly hitting the top of my new alarm clock in my blind haze yesterday morning, I had inadvertently hit the time and the whatever button makes it a different time button, simultaneously and advanced the alarm clock an hour. Hoorah for time, which as the doctor says, “isn’t what people think it is”

Now then, sorry I digress - back to all things being round, well I have decided, if the origins of everything in the universe is round. And let’s face the nicest things are round – Belgian truffles, wine bottles and their contents, digestive biscuits, cake, to name but a few; well by implication, then surely, I can stop worrying about by heart attack belly, as I have come to fondly refer to it –

because is that not also round? And so by implication, perfect too?